


Time travel on crack

by Artemis_Fandom_Things



Series: ObiKaka weeks 2019 [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), BAMF Hatake Kakashi, BAMF Uchiha Obito, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, F/M, Kamui dimension, M/M, Multi, Obito is pretty (hot), Pining, Pining Kakashi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Uchiha Obito Lives, at some point, making friends with biju, nobody is straight, team Minato is confused - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2019-10-25 06:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17719598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Fandom_Things/pseuds/Artemis_Fandom_Things
Summary: The 4th War is over and weirdly enough, Obito isn't dead- yet.However, no one likes how it all ended, they don't even like how it started, but it's not like they can do it all over again, right? Right??Wrong.Maybe Obito shouldn't have said anything, but in his defence, Kakashi did have a vary pretty face and he got extremely weak to his 'please' and 'thank you'.So, what do to now that he was in past? Easy! Bring chaos everywhere he went! Not like he did the time traveling alone though.





	1. Obito has something to say

Obito had been acting strange for over a month, so Minato decided to bring him and the Team to talk with the Hokage.

"So," the Sandaime said, dragging a breath from his pipe. "Minato, what brings you there?"

"Obito has something to tell you, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage blinked and looked at the young Uchiha. "You do?"

"I do?" Obito asked, clearly confused.

"He does?" Rin and Kakashi asked as well.

"Does he really," Danzo deadpanned, and no one really knew why he was even in the room.

A few awkward moment of silence later, and Obito's eyes seemed to shine.

"Wait, I do!!"

"What is it then?" the Hokage asked.

Obito looked sheepish. "I'd like to tell you but I don't feel safe to say it with that big ass rat in the room." He pointedly looked at Danzo.

Danzo spluttered. "How dare you call me a- a  _ rat _ ! Pay respect to your superiors,  _ child _ ."

Suddenly, the room's temperature went down, shivers running down their spine and Obito  _ smiled. _ It wasn't a nice smile. Then, he got out a scroll that had tiny ravens with red beaks painted all over it and threw it a Danzo. "Catch."

Danzo did catch the scroll, then there was a 'poof' and smoke covered the spot Danzo was standing at, then there was a slicing sound and the smoke disappeared.

"What is happening," Hiruzen said, looking at the shirtless, clearly Uchiha teen standing over Danzo's now corpse, a bloodied blade in his hand and with a little too insane look on his face.

The teen rose his head and stared at Obito. "Nice," he said, nodding at Obito who waved at him. Then the teen looked at Minato and then at Kakashi. " _ Niice _ ," he said again, and Obito slapped his face with a hand.

"Sasuke, focus," Obito said.

"Don't order me around Obito," the now named Sasuke snarked.

Obito raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on his hips.

"... sorry."

"What is happening," Hiruzen asked again.

"I want to punch you in the face," Sasuke told him and they all gaped at him, while Obito rubbed at his temples.

"Sasuke,  _ focus _ ."

"I still want to punch him in the face."

"Leave that to Naruto."

"Okay, fine, but don't you want to punch him in the face?"

"No."

"Not even a little??"

"...maybe."

Sasuke looked at Obito with a smug look.

"But that's neither here nor there," Obito reminded him.

"...just summon Naruto please," Sasuke said.

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

" _ Because _ ."

" _ Why _ ."

" **_Because_ ** ."

" _ Oh my God you're worse than Naruto! _ "

Obito emotionlessly looked at him. "Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?"

Minato never heard Obito talk in such a flat tone.

Sasuke stopped to think. "...both? I mean, Naruto is an idiot but he's the strongest shinobi alive. Also he won't fucking die but he can't plan for shit. He also befriends anyone he absolutely shouldn't befriend so it's a 50/50 here."

"I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than Naruto. I can plan."

"Yeah, world domination."

Minato gaped at them; Rin spluttered; Kakashi almost choked; the Hokage looked dead inside. Obito and Sasuke continued to ignore them.

"Rude." Obito looked  _ affronted _ . "My plan worked. You guys are just freaks."

"Ah." Sasuke looked at him with the kind of expression that said 'are you being stupid on purpose right now?’ and smirked. "I thought it didn't work because you are extremely gay and weak to pretty faces?"

" _ It wasn't and please leave Kakashi out of this discussion. _ "

"I never said anything about Kakashi, now, did I?"

Obito opened his mouth to protest but no sound came out.

Kakashi was dying on the floor.

"Get Naruto here Obito."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi are here and there are Polyamory Negotiations(TM).

“What is happening,” the Hokage asked again, and finally Sasuke and Obito deigned to look at him.

“You tell him,” Sasuke said, nudging Obito with his only elbow.

Obito huffed. “Don’t order me around brat.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Obito rose a scale-y white hand glowing with with white chakra.

Sasuke paled. “Please tell him?”

Rin let out a sound resembling of a dying deer. “Obito, what the actual hell is wrong with your hand?”

“Non-consensual human experimentation,” he answered, giving her a flat stare, then he shrugged.

“Excuse me what.”

“Not now Rin.” Then he looked at the Hokage. “Time travel is happening.” Then, he got out another scroll, only with foxes painted on it and opened it.

Sasuke’s whole face lit up like his birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s day had come early, then he swung his sword at the blond, orange wearing boy that had appeared in the middle of the room- he too, was missing an arm- and the blond parred the blow with a pout.

“Sas’ke, I just got here,” orange blond whined, then his blue eyes lit up as well once he spotted Minato. “‘sup dad!”

Minato spluttered. “D-dad??”

Obito looked longsuffering as he took out yet another scroll, one that was pink with purple and green rombos, and out of it popped out a pink haired girl.

She looked around the room and spotted the Hokage. “Hokage-sama, I want to punch you in the face,” she said, tone even and perfectly respectful.

“Why is everyone saying that,” Hiruzen muttered.

“Sakura-chan!” The orange blond threw himself at the now named Sakura, enveloping her in a hug and she patted him in the back, with Sasuke glaring daggers at the blond. 

“Naruto,” she greeted, and Naruto detached from her to stare at the Hokage.

“Jiji!” Naruto exclaimed, hugging the Hokage as well, then his expression turned serious. “I reeally want to punch you in the face.” Then he looked at Sasuke. “Sas’ke, is Danzo dead?”

“Hn, obviously.”

Sakura looked at Danzo’s corpse. “Should I cut off his arm? What about his eye?”

Naruto and Sasuke shrugged, then Sakura looked at Obito.

“You actually want my opinion?”

Sakura shrugged. “You’re the smartest person in the room probably. And you did the time travel. And you’re dead inside, so your judgement will probably be good.”

Obito stared at her for a moment. “Sure. Whatever. Remember to burn the body.” 

“Please, no more crazy teenagers appearing in my office,” the Hokage pleaded, but Obito ignored him. He got out another scroll, one grey with wolves and lighting all around and he opened it, however no puff of smoke happened.

“Did it fail? Whatever it is,” Minato asked, a tad bit dreadful.

“Nope,” Obito, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura said, intently looking at Kakashi, making Minato and Rin turn to look at the boy as well.

Kakashi groaned and got up. “I’m so not going through puberty again.”

Minato gaped. “What.”

“Sensei,” Kakashi greeted him, closing his left eye, then he turned towards Rin. “Rin. Glad to see you alive. And without holes.”

“Holes?” Rin asked, tilting her head.

“You really don’t want to know Rin,” Obito interjected, coming behind Kakashi and wrapping his arms around him, and Kakashi blushed,”

“Stop doing this,” he muttered.

Obito kissed him on the cheek, earning three gaping stares. “No.”

“Obito stop being gay,” Naruto said.

“Says the one that went after that one teammate for three years while still professing to be one hundred percent straight.” Obito pointedly looked at Naruto, then at Sasuke and lastly at Sakura.

“Why am I involved in this?” she asked.

“ _ You know why _ . I literally met you three for five minutes in the middle of a war and that’s all it took for me to realize how much of a fucking mess you all are. Couldn’t you take a book out of Team Gai?”

“What does that even mean,” Naruto whined.

“Polyamory Naruto,” Obito said, raising an eyebrow, Kakashi nodding along. They ignored Minato’s choking sound. “Add Hinata to the whole thing while you’re at it.”

At the three’s befuddled stares, Kakashi interjected. “Come on, my cute little students. Hinata would probably agree, and all of you would benefit from it.”

“What would you even know about polyamory?” Sakura demanded.

“Do you really want to know?” Obito and Kakashi asked at once and at Sakura’s determined nod they shrugged and answered.

“Gai and Tenzo,” Kakashi plainly said.

“I thought Gai lacked a libido,” Sasuke commented, his tone dead.

“I thought so too. He’s aromantic though.”

“Makes sense.” Naruto nodded, then he turned to Obito.

“Konan, Pain or Nagato or whatever the fuck you want to call him, Deidara and Kisame.”

Sakura spluttered. “Four- four people? Wait- Konan is a woman.”

“I’m bi, Sakura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one is straight here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of people want to punch Hiruzen in the face.

Obito took out one last scroll, making Hiruzen pale. “No more crazy teens in my office please.”

“It’s the last one, for now,” Obito cheerfully reassured, opening the tiger painted scroll, and in a puff of smoke a girl appeared, midnight blue hair falling down her back and Byakugan active. She stalked out to Naruto and hugged him.

“Uh, that’s incredibly out of character, coming from Hinata,” Sakura observed, Sasuke nodding with her.

“Naruto-kun I missed you so much,” Hinata muttered, then she twirled on her heels and rounded her angry stare on Obito, pointing at him with a perfectly manicured finger. “And you! You better run straight from now on or I. Will. Make. You.”

A shiver ran down Obito’s spine and he nodded. “I mean, not sure how much straight I can go, but I understand your threat.”

“Good.”

“Now, brats,” Kakashi interrupted, “time to get our ages right.”

They all groaned, then their bodies glowed a greenish-white light and once it disappeared, Kakashi and Obito looked to be around fifteen or sixteen, while the other four were around twelve, with Naruto and Sasuke back to have both arms, Sakura with longer hair- but still with a purple rombo in the middle of her forehead- and Hinata’s hair was a lot shorter.

A thin, vertical scar appeared over Kakashi’s left eye and he opened it to reveal a spinning Sharingan, while Obito’s right side was covered in scars as well, even if his longer, messy hair hid them well, his right eye an active Sharingan that matched Kakashi’s. Or vice versa, Kakashi’s Sharingan eye matched Obito’s.

Sasuke and Obito opened their left eye in synchro, revealing respectively the Sharinnegan and the Rinnegan.

“What the actual fuck,” Rin said, the words heartfelt and voice dead.

“I told you! Time travel,” Obito said, his grin a little crooked.

“Man, I hate being short,” Naruto commented, looking down at his body. “Was my jumpsuit always so orange?”

“Yes,” Sakura and Sasuke answered in unison, Hinata making a so-so movement with her hand.

Looking at everyone’s disdain for their clothes, Kakashi sighed. “We’ll go clothes shopping later.”

They cheered at that.

“Waaait a second!” Minato interjected. “Also, Obito, why is your hand on Kakashi’s ass?”

Obito blinked. He looked at Kakashi who looked back, blushing. He looked back at Minato. “Kakashi has a really nice ass.” To make his point, he gave it a squeeze, making Kakashi yelp.

“Obito!”

“Why are you wearing an ANBU uniform, Kakashi?” Minato asked, trying to get back on topic.

Kakashi squinted at him, judging. “I’m a cosplayer.”

Obito tried to cover his laughs with a hand, while Minato blinked at him a few times. “Oh, really?”

“No, I’m wearing an ANBU uniform because you got me to join when I was thirteen and didn’t leave until I was twenty-three,” Kakashi deadpanned.

Minato gaped at Kakashi’s snarky tone.

“Sensei, don’t be a blond,” Obito reprimanded, throwing a pebble at him and ignoring Naruto’s protests.

Kakashi looked at Obito from head to toes, eyes widening, then he pointed at him. “You! You were the one!”

Obito blinked. “What.”

“You were the one that killed those Root agents when they tried to recruit me and I told them to fuck off. They didn’t take it well.”

“Wait WHAT?!” Minato exclaimed. He was ignored.

“Oh. Yeah that was me. It was also me that time with Orochimaru and that one time with the squirrels.”

Kakashi shrudded. “Squirrels...”

“What happened with the squirrels?” Sakura asked.

“...better if you don’t know,” Kakashi said in a solemn tone, Obito sniggering over his pain.

“Is that why you have a deep ingrained fear of squirrels?” Sasuke inquired, cocking up an eyebrow.

Kakashi glared at him. “Mayhaps.”

“Sensei, that’s not even a word,” Sakura said.

“It is now.”

“That’s not how languages work!”

“ _ It is now. _ ”

“Can someone please explain what the hell is going on?” Hiruzen half despaired, half demanded, and he was met with six unimpressed stares.

“I want to punch you in the face,” Hinata told him, as sweet as sugar.

“And stop saying that!”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning more chapters of this! Stay tuned!


End file.
